Went on this free dating site and started sending stupid messages to girls. Here they are:
To Hot Brandy:
Hello Hot Brandy. My name is Nathan. I would like to tell you about myself in an attempt to make you interested in meeting me. I hope as you read this you begin to relax and to smile and that the flow of blood throughout your body increases making you very warm and happy.
I was born on July 4th 1986. The same day that this land of America turned One Hundred and ten years old. I am very proud to share a birthday with this great land. Do you love America? If you said yes you may find that you will be capable of loving me as well.
Because I am connected to America on a much deeper level than the average person I am very interested in history. My apartment has 3 American flags. One of which I display and the other two I keep in their respective packages. This keeps them in mint condition and keeps their value high. Not that I have any intentions of selling my flags but still I think it's important for you to know the kind of person I am. I am the kind of person that cares very much about the things he owns. If I were given the privileged to own you I would take very good care of you.
My other biggest hobby is hole digging. I love to go out in my yard and dig deep holes. When the hole has reached a depth that I am happy with (usually this is a depth at which when I stand in the whole my eyes are level with the ground up above the hole) I leave it for a few days. Then often I write letters to people from Americas glorious past such as Abraham Lincoln or Audie Murphy and put them in the hole before filling it back up. I feel like this connects me with mother earth in America.
I would love to speak with you more in depth (hahaha, sorry digger joke). Please tell me about yourself and maybe we can build some kind of relationship. I look forward to hearing from you soon. God Bless You.
This girl said no liars or thieves:
Hey I was just reading your profile and I think you and i would be really compatible. I find you attractive physically especially in the face. The only issue I could see is that i love to steal. Nothing very expensive or from people I care about mostly just things like candy bars, gum, batteries, pez refills, marshmallows, mouse pads, cans of soda, cards (playing, and collectible), lighters, bags of chips, staplers, pens, pins, pencils, erasers, thumb tacs, pottery, lawn chairs, condoms, cigarettes, toilet paper, goldfish, coffee, tea bags, tylenol, jelly beans, greeting cards, change, wrapping paper, aluminum foil, plastic bags, go-gurt, fingernail clippers, compasses, pocket knives, eggs, bagels, poker chip sets, cds, dvds, shirts, socks, shoes, handkerchiefs, pre-paid cell phones, posters, pet hair remover rollers, hot wheels cars, umbrellas, canned tuna, brooms, buckets, stereo speakers, fax machines, silverware, assorted fruits, paper, marbles, lotion, camera tripods, hats, blankets, seat cushions, and paper shredders. I hope this will not be a big issue and that you and i can begin a conversation that may lead to true love. I hope you give me a chance and I hear from you soon.
This girl had a picture with her arms up in the air and a weirdly dark eye:
I just wanted to let you know I like your picture. You did a really thorough job shaving your arm pits and I think that's something that should be commended. Also you should probably slap some raw meat on that eye it'll help clear it up quicker.
This girl said to feel free to send her any questions:
I saw where you are open to questions of my that I have so maybe I can have you give answers? Here are my questions for you to answer for me:
1) If you could eat anything how many would you eat?
2) Do you jump? If so how many?
3) What car is yours?
4) Would you rather be born without legs?
5) What year of time has been great?
6) If you could be any tree would it be elm?
7) If you were told you had to shave your head and eat your hair or the world would die would you do it? What if it was a lie you would look really stupid then.
If anyone of them respond I'll update you. Or if I write more I'll probably throw them up as well.
